Thursday, January 24, 2013

A Priest That Didn't Like the Internet Meets St. Peter

St. Peter to a priest at the pearly gates: "Welcome Father, let me just pull your file...this will only take a says here Father that you preached on the weekend to an average of 1200 this correct?"

Deceased Priest: "Yes, your deceased saintly holiness it is; 1200 people."

St. Peter: "Did you know about the internet my son?"
Priest: "I did."

St. Peter: "How did you do in math classes, my son?"
Priest: "Great!"

St. Peter: "So you knew about the internet, and you understood reason that you didn't heed Pope Benedict's call to evangelize on the internet?  Any reason you didn't have a kid in your parish spend 5 minutes putting your homilies online?"

Priest: "Well...I was afraid it would seem narcissistic...I was afraid it would change me...I was afraid I might become too popular...I was afraid I might start doing stuff just to draw attention to myself...I was afraid.."

St. Peter: "Okay Okay, I got it.  Did Pope Benedict encourage internet evangelization only if you weren't afraid of it?"

Priest: "Well, no."

St. Peter: "You do understand that you reached 1200 people on a weekend, and for no less effort on your part you could have reaced 7 billion people right?  Do you know that 7,000,000,000 divided by 1200 means that, through no less energy on your part you could have reached 5,833,333 TIMES MORE PEOPLE?"

Priest: "I never thought of it that way."

St. Peter: "Do you know who DOES realize the power of the internet?  COMPANIES working simply for EARTHLY PROFIT...which is why Christ said to imitate them in certain ways, to be "shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves."

Priest: "My bad."

St. Peter: "You get 20 days in purgatory to think about how you didn't follow Pope Benedict's instruction to blog and evangelize on the internet.  For your time in Purgatory, you are to watch every Planned Parenthood video online and study the behavior of an organization that DOES understand how to evangelize to the young and spread a message and convert people to their side, and you are to reflect on all the opportunities you missed out on.  Also, pray that the priests still in the field don't make the same mistake you did.  See you in 20 days."


  1. Oh man, love it.
    Watching PP's video would be purgatory on earth, indeed. But as I've said before and am trying to do, we ought to do what they do, but morally right!

    " COMPANIES working simply for EARTHLY PROFIT...which is why Christ said to imitate them in certain ways, to be "shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves." -- sums it all up.

    Seems like we are the Church Dormant and not the Church Militant.
    This ought to change.

  2. LOL. Oh yes, please, send all of the flock to the internet. Where even the most warped opinion has a place to live. Then and only then will the flock realize that they have to think for themselves. This is the power of the internet. This does not bode well for knowledge controlling institutions (religions, universities, governments, etc.), but it does bode well for humanity. The beauty of internet fame is that people with thousands of hits feel "heard" and get an ego feed, yet they are only a small portion of what is viewed. Yes, yes, leave the comfy confines of the church and bring your message to Youtube. I can view the evil Planned Parenthood videos right after yours. Run sheep! Run! Be free! Google away and be free!

  3. Posting authentic Catholic teaching on the internet is like old-time street-corner preaching updated to 21st Century technology. I'm sure they also had to contend with the seamier side of life (alcoholics, streetwalkers, druggies, etc). Abp Sheen would have been all over this hi-tech biz like a monkey on a cupcake.
    - hod carrier

  4. For forty years, the political correctinistas in the Church controlled the narrative and only a well-catechized layman with good research skills and access to resources could penetrate the fog. Then people started logging on, dusted off the neglected traditions an discovered not only did they endure, but the hollow progressivist worldview disintegrated on contact with them as one of the first thing we witnessed was those that "think for themselves" weren't thinking at all.

    1. It amazes me how you just take any opportunity you can to attack those you consider "progressives". I often find National Catholic Reporter to be hateful. And guess what, I find this website hateful too.