My Sister on Her Eating Disorder

Below you will find a guest post from my sister Laura.  When she let all of us siblings know about her struggles several years ago, at some point later I approached her and said if she'd ever like to share her story in this space, I'd be honored to post it.  This is a story that I think can help a lot of people:

"The intent of this post is to inform parents, siblings, and friends that those near you may struggle with an eating disorder. Eating disorders take many different forms, but I hope that by sharing my own experience with them, you might have a clearer understanding of them and how your daughter, sister, brother, or friend might be struggling. This post is also for anyone who may be dealing with an eating disorder. As I will mention later on, I truthfully didn't realize I had one until three years after I had first started. May this post help you in your journey to healing. 

In October of my junior year of high school, almost all of my friends began drinking and disagreeing with Catholic Church teachings. I didn't know how to go about discussing things with them, so I just stopped being friends with them. I went straight from having lots of friends and people to talk to to being the silent one at the end of a hostile lunch table. In January of my junior year, for cheerleading we began discussing the pairs for a Valentine's Day dance where each cheerleader dances with a senior guy. I was paired with a popular football player and started to worry. We would be doing a bunch of crazy flips, and I didn't want to be that girl that couldn't be lifted. I came home from one practice at the end of January, 2011, and decided I would eat less at dinner. The next morning, I had an apple for breakfast and packed a lunch of half a handful of grain flake cereal and a carrot. I kept it up for a week and lost five pounds. The dance went fine and everyone told me how great I looked. That weekend, I was at home looking at some cookies my mom had just made and thought how sad it would be to have everyone see me gain back my five pounds I had lost. I consciously decided in that moment that I didn't have to gain it back, and began struggling with eating disorders.  

The compliments were endless. Girls came out of nowhere to tell me how gorgeous, tiny, cute, etc. I looked and it was intoxicating. I had gone months without friends, so this attention was addicting and only encouraged me. Lunch was always a struggle, however. I would either take my lunch into the library and eat my ~70 calorie snack there, or I'd stay in the bathroom for the first ten minutes of lunch then come down and hurriedly eat and go to the bathroom again. When I got home from school I would walk 40 minutes on the treadmill. I lost 15 pounds that school year, and weighed less than my seventh grade sister, which I viewed as success. I went to Eurpope for two weeks with my brother that summer, and came home weighing ten pounds lighter than when I left. It never occurred to me that I had an eating disorder. In fact, I went on a retreat my senior year and heard other people talk about their eating disorders and thought "man, that would terrible!" It wasn't until three years later that I took an online quiz to see if one might be at risk for an eating disorder that I realized I was in its throws. In fact, I struggled with multiple eating disorders. My freshman year of college, I decided I didn't want to eat so little, but I couldn't bear the thought of returning to my original weight. I would eat myself stuffed, walk on the treadmill for ten miles at a time, then come back in and eat more. Although I never made myself get sick to get rid of the food, it was bulimia, a constant battle with myself over wanting to be skinny and wanting to never again feel that hunger and exhaustion I had experienced in high school. The fall of my sophomore year, I got a stress fracture in my femur from training for a marathon. That threw me into my third eating disorder, where I would simply binge on food and was unable to do the physical activity required to burn it off. Yet again, I was entirely unaware of what I was struggling with, but I knew it wasn't right to feel that way. Eventually my leg healed, and I was able to get my eating under control. My brother had asked all of my siblings to start a monthly sibling update email, so in April 2014, I decided to tell all my siblings. It was extremely difficult and I hated feeling that vulnerable. Everyone I cared about now knew my darkest struggles, and that was absolutely horrifying. However, Archangel Raphael is the patron saint of mental disorders and happy meetings, so with the help of his intercession, God took care of me. My siblings simply showered me with love and understanding, and it was the best decision I've ever made, telling them. I now have them on guard for me, and they notice if I start to eat too little or obsess over working out. After years of prayer, work, and many failures, I am now at a healthy weight, eat right, and lead a wonderful life!  

Thus far, I hope my story has informed parents, siblings, and friends of at-risk people what eating disorders can look like. I don't have all the answers for what to do, I don't even know what all my family did to get me out of those dark places. The only thing I can say with confidence is PRAY CONSTANTLY FOR THEM. My parents never made me eat a steak or stop my workouts, which was incredibly wise of them in hindsight. However, your daughter or son may need more drastic measures than I did. Also, I didn't even know I was suffering from anorexia and bulimia for three years, so trust your instincts over your sibling or friend's emphatic "I'm fine!"s. Made In His Image, a support website for those with eating disorders, has lots of resources that can direct you. But please always pray for those who struggle. Thank you! 

Now, for anyone reading this article that might be struggling with an eating disorder: you deserve to be free of this, and you CAN be! Firstly, take your pain to Jesus in Adoration; He has been waiting 2000 years to listen to your struggles and help you through them. Praying the Rosary daily has helped me tremendously, and Mary promises that any of her children who dedicate themselves to her in the Rosary will "receive her protection". In Mary we find ceaseless consolation; please look to her. 

Eating disorders are not something easily shaken, so don't hate yourself if you slip up. I have slipped up countless times, but each time I remember a line from the movie Robin Hood: 

Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions 

Each time you fall down, God is waiting with an outstretched hand to pull you back up. Grit your teeth, grab your rosary, and stand again. Also, you can use your suffering for good! Saint John Paul II loved to reflect on the beauty of suffering, writing an entire encyclical on it. He states 

"Come! Take part through your suffering in this work of saving the world, a salvation achieved through [Jesus'] suffering! Through [Jesus'] cross." 

Without a doubt, eating disorders are heavy crosses. However, we neither suffer alone nor for nothing. On a hard day, say a prayer to God, offering your pain for an intention such as those affected by abuse. Our beloved Father can take our suffering and use it to relieve that of others if we only ask Him to. Knowing we have the power to help others through our own challenges is such a beautiful thing and gives our suffering dignity. Lastly, realize that you deserve to be free of this and ask for help. It will be horrifying, but offer that fear up for your intention and bite the bullet. There are trained professionals that live to help you! You can do it; you're so worth it. God has a beautiful plan for you, and loves you more than can be comprehended. Know of my prayers for you, and may God always hold you in His loving arms!

Archangel Raphael, pray for us!"

What is God's Mercy? What does it say about US?

Mercy doesn't just wipe away past sins, it also propels us forward.  We don't have to keep sinning.  We don't have to remain slaves

THANKS! My Blog hits 1,000,000 views

I consider today to be a milestone for me and my priesthood.  1,000,000 times someone has visited the blog.  Another 3,000,000 have visited my YouTube channel to watch a homily or class!


Thanks a "million" for your friendships and all of you that I've been able to meet through this blog.


I would have never imagined that it would get to this point, so thank you.


I know a lot of blogs are much bigger than this one, but this has been a really cool adventure that I never would have taken the first step on if it weren't for Pope Benedict urging us priests to do this.


I must be honest, before Pope Benedict asked priests to blog, my opinion of blogs was very low.  I've come to realize the impact that they can have.


I pray that this blog may help make Jesus Christ more present in this world that is so badly in need of the light

My recommendation for a Synod topic

How about we preach what the Church teaches?  


Every time I've preached contraception, homosexual attractions vs. actions, annulments, divorce, etc. people say they've literally never heard a homily on that topic before.


I know a lot of priests ARE preaching the topics above, but I think we can fairly say that the vast majority of Catholics have never heard what the Church actually teaches on this topic.



We have a synod of a bunch of men trying to figure out what the threats are to the family.  I hope someone in the room stands up and asks "Are we bishops and priests and our cowardice the REAL threat to the family?"

Tips on Keeping the Sabbath Rest

You shalt rest and relax and enjoy life

And the people shouted "NO!!!"

The Real Problem Facing Marriage (and priesthood and RCIA etc.) in the West

... a lot of people don't give a rats rear end about oaths/vows anymore.


"She isn't the person I married anymore"

"The priesthood isn't what I thought it would be"

"I didn't know piresthood/marriage/religious life would be like THIS!"

That's why people walk away from marriage so much, and that's why more people walk away from the priesthood and religious life as well.


It's the same for people joining the Church.  They spend all this time coming to class for a year.  Every week.  And I tell them, multiple times, that one of the most fundamental things to being a Catholic is coming to Mass on Sunday.  Barring illness or caring for another who is ill, the obligation to come to Mass is not negotiable.

"Woohoo, I'm Catholic now.  Surely the priest didn't mean I'm obligated to go to Mass EVERY Sunday"

And people stand up at the Easter Vigil, make vows and oaths and promises to be Catholic, and half the people that join the Church fall away with a few years.  HALF!!!!



I just want to stand up sometimes and say to all of the people that break these vows in a definitive way:   "DIDN'T YOU MAKE A VOW?"



One thing is clear in the Scriptures - God DOES NOT mess around with oaths and vows and promises.  God even holds people to stupid vows that they made in order to make sure people understand that a vow is for real.  It isn't fake, and it is SERIOUS BUSINESS!


Catechsim 2147: Promises made to others in God's name engage the divine honor, fidelity, truthfulness, and authority. They must be respected in justice. To be unfaithful to them is to misuse God's name and in some way to make God out to be a liar.


The only thing that has kept me in diocesan priesthood on several occasions has been the fact that I made oaths and promises to this.  But if oaths and vows and promises are not binding, in their minds, anymore, then apparently they aren't binding.


After all, we're all our own gods now anyways, so if my mood changes, I can just rewrite or obliterate any promises I've made in the past anyway.

Do you promise...
Yes...unless it gets tough

Synod Document Based on Evangelii Gaudium?

I've followed the Synod as closely as time permits, which is to say I've no doubt missed a lot.


One of the things that seems odd to me is the proposal by the more progressive groups to structure the final document of the Synod on the Pope's letter from a couple of years ago - Evangelii Gaudium (The Joy of the Gospel).


If the Synod were on the new evangelization, this proposal would make sense to me.


But "family" is only mentioned 11 times throughout the 288 paragraphs of Evangelii Gaudium.


Aren't there a lot of good things written EXPLICITLY ABOUT THE FAMILY over the past few years that this Synod could utilize as a framework, vs. a letter on evangelization?


But perhaps those making the suggestion that the Synod's final document be based on a letter the Pope wrote two years ago about evangelization are actually not wanting to structure the Synod document around anything the Church has ever taught before?

Caption this!

Here's mine: "Phillip, when you get a weak-side blitz, throw the hot route!  Ever since I had you in second grade, you've tried to over do it!  Your hot read on these blitzes is the four yard out, your tight end was open, just throw him the ball, get your four yards and a first down and keep the drive alive!!!!"

Homily: "Father, should I go sledding?" - on the virtue of prudence

A Song for Sunday - Coldplay "A Message"

My song is love 
Love to the loveless shown 
And it goes on 
You don't have to be alone 

Your heavy heart 
Is made of stone 
And it's so hard to see you, clearly 
You don't have to be on your own 
You don't have to be on your own 

Synod Transparency

My one issue with way the Synod on the Family is going down is transparency

Whatever happened to this idea?

I'm all for the theological experimentation and I recognize that a Synod is a good time to look at controversial issues, be open to the Spirit, etc.   I also recognize that you want to keep the vast majority of the Church safe from confusion

But locking the doors and keeping the Synod under wraps does NOT PROTECT THE PEOPLE OF GOD, it EXACERBATES the confusion!


What happened to St. John XXIII's request to "Throw open the windows of the Church...so the people can see in."???



Yeah, ideally, all the cardinals and archbishops could go hide somewhere, have theological discussions, even yell and scream at each other, and then come back with a nice and neat Synod wrap-up press conference...but nothing is ever ideal on this side of Heaven.


So we're left with a couple of alternatives
1) close the doors, and let the media spin the Synod into whatever they want it to be

2) throw open the doors, and let people listen in on every word of the Synod and draw their own conclusions.



"BUT...the People of God will be confused/scandalized/not able to handle the messiness of these things if we open the doors and let people listen in on everything" some might say.


NEWSFLASH - this confusion/scandal/messiness is being conveyed despite the doors being closed.  Not only that, the people that want to explain the messiness/scandal/confusion CAN'T because we don't have anything definitive to point to and say "Be calm.  Take heart.  This is what is ACTUALLY happening."



These meetings used to happen behind closed doors.  That's impossible now.  Open doors then beat the disastrous alternative that is currently being employed.



If you want to know how to fight against confusion and let the truth speak for itself, we need look no further than what Bishop Coyne and his staff at the USCCB communications department did with the Pope Francis visit.  Read Bishop Coyne's blog post (Click HERE to read it) about how they covered the visit, engaged people, got the word out, etc.  It was a SMASHING SUCCESS.

The team from the USCCB working around the clock to get every word  of the
Holy Father's visit out to the world.  The Vatican should be doing this too.  If we
don't let the Truth tell the story of the Synod, the media will tell our story for us

There should be a TEAM of people at the Vatican broadcasting this Synod, getting every speech out there in text, video, etc.  LET IT ALL OUT, OPEN WIDE THE WINDOWS!




Implied in fearing to get the word out is the idea that the laity can't handle the messiness of what actually happens.  I think that is selling our lay people WAY short.  Our people understand that the process by which these things get pulled together is messy at times.  They can handle it.

"Open wide the windows of the Church so that we can see out and the people can see in."

Or are we only going to do this SOME of the time?

Pope Benedict Synod Quote?

What would Pope Benedict say to all the people running around hoping that the Church will change some fundamental teaching?

I think he already said it several decades ago.  There's a silver lining in the fact that people even care what the Church teaches in the first place.

He noted in Called to Communion:


"In the midst of a world full of harsh discipline and inexorable pressures, a secret hope still looks to the Church... Consequently, this rage at the Church, or disappointment with her, has a particular quality, because in their heart of hearts people expect more of her than of all worldly institutions.”


Not to be un-ecumenical here or anything but if the Budhists (or Anglicans or daoists, or wiccans, etc. etc.) were having something like our Synod on the Family, would there be anything approaching the interest that even those outside the Church are giving to this Synod?

A secret hope indeed!

Thanks to "The Depauw" for publishing my letter to the editor on priestly sex abuse

You can read my letter by clicking here: http://www.thedepauw.com/news/view.php/1012108/Letter-to-the-Editor


BACKGROUND:  "The DePauw", the student newspaper of DePauw University (where I am the Catholic chaplain) published an editorial in the days following the Holy Father's visit, stating that the Pope should do more to prevent priestly child abuse than simply offer "papal platitudes".


I frankly found their article offensive.  It was the only article they published on the entire week-long papal visit...as if that was the major takeaway.


Anyway,  I wrote a letter to the editor, and I thank them for publishing it.


You can read my article by clicking here: http://www.thedepauw.com/news/view.php/1012108/Letter-to-the-Editor

"I wish the Church would change its teaching on __________________"

“We do not want, as the newspapers say, a church that will move with the world. We want a church that will move the world.”  -G.K. Chesterton


There is a GIGANTIC difference between saying
"I struggle with the Church's teaching on ____________"

and 

"I've DECIDED the Church IS WRONG on ____________"



And before you say "the Church changed on usury or slavery" please look those issues up yourself and do some studying first.

Cecile Richards argues with Cecile Richards

Wow do we need more of this!

Bishop Olmsted of the Diocese of Phoenix just did something crazy.   Here's the trailer:




Bishop Olmsted didn't just write a letter, he put a trailer together for it (#Blackstone Films!), but he created a website for men to visit as well.  You can visit the website by clicking here: http://www.intothebreach.net/into-the-breach/


Also, what a timely topic!  Masculinity and Catholicism are viewed by some as being polar opposite - and here is a bishop standing up and saying "NO!"  Christ and the Church show us how to be masculine, how to use our masculinity for good, and that one need not be neutered to become a Christian.

Spread the good news.  Thank you Bishop Olmsted!

Criticizing the Pope

There is a VAST difference between the following two statements

1) I WISH Pope Francis would say __________________________________

and

2) Pope Francis SHOULD BE saying ________________________________



The Church says that ONE MAN is in position to be guided by the Holy Spirit on what to say, when to say it, and on what not to say and when not to say it.  That is the Pope.

If you've decided that the Pope should be saying something that he's not, that is a VERY DANGEROUS manifestation of spiritual pride, and, to put it simply, you should check yourself, particularly if you are a Catholic.


A person who is saying #2 above has NO IDEA what the Holy Spirit is putting on Pope Francis' heart.  We may get to Heaven one day and there see that the Holy Spirit was putting something on Pope Francis' heart, and Pope Francis ignored it (and that will likely be something we'll all see happened to all of us at some point) but to say you KNOW that the Holy Spirit IS putting something on Pope Francis' heart, and that you KNOW he's not responding properly is simultaneously arrogant and ignorant and is to claim powers of insight that no human person actually has.

We know, as Catholics, that there are certain things that the Holy Father will never come out and say, but beyond that, in terms of what the Holy Spirit is telling the Holy Father to address, we can only ever guess.  Until we're made Pope.

Homily text and video: "Is Pope Francis Communist?"

The text I preached off of is a bit "outliney"

Pope Francis’s visit has been AWESOME!!!

If you’ve listened to all that he has had to say and nothing has given you something to work on, you haven’t been paying attention!

Pope Francis has noted many great things that Americans are doing and have been traditionally known for

He sees in our country a Church that, unlike the rest of the first world, actually still has a pulse

One of the things that he has challenged us ALL on is VERY relevant to the second reading today: “you have withheld the wages of your laborers and have lived a life of luxury”

Some have heard the Pope speak this week and have torn their garments in frustration – “This guy is such a Communist.  Why doesn’t he like capitalism?  Doesn’t he know that the way people get out of poverty is by companies providing jobs for people?

Point 1: what the Holy Father has said is the EXACT same thing that the Church has been saying, that Pope John Paul II was saying, that Pope Benedict was saying, etc. – capitalism has to be practiced with reference to the Truth – it doesn’t just work on its own without being informed by virtue.

Point 2: Communism didn’t take, including in South American countries, for no reason.  The industrial revolution began a new phase of human society, and industrialization has, from its beginnings, been a temptation to treat people like machines.  The Church has always warned and been very emphatic that this is a HORRIBLE INJUSTICE.  In fact, Catholic Social Teaching came out of the Church’s attempt to guide industrialization to be more just

Point 3: The Church has ALWAYS taught that Communism is intrinsically evil and always wrong.  It takes atheism as a starting point, so why would the Church ever advocate for it?  The Church, as almost everyone will tell you, brought down Communism in the late 80’s and early 90’s, although it will never be completely knocked out until the end of time

Point 4: There are not 3 options – Communism, Free market capitalism with no intervention, and a socialism that is a 50/50 split. 

Point 5: No system will save us.  Some systems are better than others, and what our economic system is and how it is structured matters a great deal, but we can’t pretend that once we get the laws right, the system will provide us with a utopia.  A system incorporates people, and so it also calls for ongoing vigilance – are we, at all levels, in my house, in my community, in my state, in my country – are things as just as they can be?  Am I behaving as justly as God is calling me to be?

So, let’s look at the reading from James. 

There are two types of sin according to Church teaching – mortal and venial.  Mortal sins are deadly and it is when a person actively and knowingly commits a grave sin that severs the person from God.  God does not stop loving them, but the person chooses to turn from God.

There are also venial sins, which are not deadly, but are still damaging to us

Within the set of mortal sins, however, there are 4 sins that CRY OUT TO HEAVEN FOR VENGEANCE – and one of them is what James mentions today – “withholding wages from laborers”

In a positive since the Church at Vatican II – “paying a person for their work should guarantee man the opportunity to provide a dignified livelihood for himself and his family on the material, social, cultural and spiritual level.” And

“Every person has the right to possess a sufficient amount of the earth’s goods for himself and his family.  We are bound to come to the aid of the poor and to do so not merely out of their superfluous goods.”

OBJECTION: This is redistribution of wealth – FALSE.  The Church says that welfare should always be a temporary thing for emergencies.

OBJECTION: Putting down business owners.  NOT AT ALL – the creation of jobs in the private sector is what makes America great – the work of so many business owners is celebrated and is obviously a good thing

Take off your Republican hat for a minute.  Take off your Democrat hat for a minute.  The Church’s message on this, Jesus’ message on this, James’ message on this challenges ALL OF US.  I should ask: “HOW DOES THIS TEACHING CHALLENGE ME?

If we’re still listening to James, the Church, Jesus, the Scriptures, the Popes, the 2^nd Vatican Council, etc. what are we to do?

1)    I can’t go out and pay the migrant more…so I should do what Pope Francis said last night “Start with myself”

2)    Am I striving for simplicity?

a.     “If you make a man happier, it doesn’t matter if you also make him poorer”

b.   If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed than with two hands to go into Gehenna, into the unquenchable fire.  If materialism or consumerism is consuming you...CUT IT OFF.  Get rid of it!

3)    QUESTION: Can we do more locally?

a.     Is the lowest price always the best decision?

                                                                         i.      Not everyone can ask that question, but we can and we should

b.     Just because the sticker price of something is lower, does that mean it is right?

c.      Who makes me clothes, my shoes, my coffee, who harvests the food I eat?  If I buy something online or at a store, where does that money go? – be informed and realize that buying has consequences

4)    After starting with me I need to move to systemic questions, questions about the larger systems I’m a part of. 

a.     is greed the right thing to base our economy on?

b.     “The way you can fix the economy is by buying more things?”

c.      Does our economy reference the Truth? 

d.     What is it built on?  If it is built on the wrong principles, it will fall

“Behold, the wages you withheld from the workers who harvested your fields are crying aloud; and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts.”  May we work continuously to see that our economy is as just as it possibly can be, and that all are able to receive that which justice demands – a job to sustain their family and provide for themselves and their families food, shelter, clothing and the basic necessities of life.  May this continual spirit of improvement, done out of love for our neighbor, start with me.

Beautiful Quote from Pope Francis...

...that was completely twisted by some in the media.

I saw one outlet that was reporting that the Pope, at Vespers at St. Pat's, admonished priests for the sex abuse crisis.

What he ACTUALLY said was beautiful and moved me a great deal.  Here's what he actually said



I know that, as a presbyterate [group of priests] in the midst of God’s people, you suffered greatly in the not distant past by having to bear the shame of some of your brothers who harmed and scandalized the Church in the most vulnerable of her members… In the words of the Book of Revelation, I say that you “have come forth from the great tribulation” (Rev 7:14). I accompany you at this moment of pain and difficulty, and I thank God for your faithful service to his people.

Beautiful.  Pray for the victims AND for all those priests who've never done any of the evil that it is fashionable to hoist on every priest

VIDEO: Why do we have a Pope?