The first Hunger Games book (and the movie) are written in such a way that some people might secretly think about it all in a sugary way..."Sure the games are a terrible idea...but it all is kind of romantic"
However, the final installment is the whole point - look at what war does - so many people die - it's horrible - there's nothing romantic at all about war. Collins delivers an intentionally violent and deadly punch in the gut with the final book because war is a violent and deadly punch in the gut
2) We are the capital
Gale has a line in the film when they spend a night hiding in a capital home. He eats some of the food, which is way better than anything he's ever tasted, and says something to the effect of "I'm starting to understand why the people who live in the capital are the way they are. If I had food like this, I'd go along with whatever else was happening too."
We ARE the capital. The money we spend on hair and makeup and fashion would literally feed the rest of the world
this add from cover girl makes the point perfectly
3) The ends do not justify the means
The only place that says this is ALWAYS the case is the Catholic Church. The Hunger Games reinforce that. There is a scene where lots of innocent civilians are killed, and it is done, by the rebels, under the pretense that it will save lives in the long run. The beautiful and Catholic point is made in the book and the film - that under that type of logic anyone could kill anyone else whenever they wanted if they just came up with a good explanation for what MIGHT happen in the future
4) There are evil people on both sides of any war
So often people forget this. The Hunger Games reminds us of this very perfectly.
5) We humans have VERY short memories
Toward the end of the film, as peace is being established, the following dialogue says it nicely
“Are you preparing for another war, Plutarch?" I ask.
"Oh, not now. Now we're in a sweet period where everyone agrees that our recent horrors should never be repeated," he says. "But collective thinking is usually short-lived. We're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction. Although who knows? Maybe this will be it.”
St. Meinrad was a hermit who lived and prayed in the woods.
He had a vision that some men were going to come and visit him and then kill him.
When they came, he still welcomed them, fed them, and treated them as Christ would have.
The men killed St. Meinrad.
St. Meinrad is considered a martyr of hospitality.
We talk all the time as the "pro-life" movement that we're not running out of room in our country and that the whole world would fit inside Texas...and rightly so...but some stop short of saying that when people are trying to flee war?
Women who have abortions are scared about what MIGHT happen?
And we shut our doors because we're scared of what MIGHT happen?
I get it...we have to bring people in responsibly...and that's something to continue to work at... be vigilant about it and hash out how to do it. Get a lot of smart people in the same room and figure out how to make it happen in the right way.
But ..but what are the radical Muslims REALLY afraid of? I think the radicals are afraid that moderate Muslims will see who we really are...what Christianity really is...I think that's what they're afraid of.
Why else would they send people to attack Paris through France's refugee program...it isn't because its the only way into France...come on...let's be honest...as it stands right now if radicals want into France they're going to get in.
If you're the radicals, you send attackers in through the refugee program because you want it to stop...you want America to stop taking in the tired, the poor, the immigrant...because then your prophecy about America as the Devil looks true.
Here's my point - the only thing more RADICAL than radical Islam is LOVE. And I think LOVE welcomes the stranger, the poor, and the dying. We can do it in a prudent way...we don't have to simply tear down our borders, but the only way to out radical the radicals is through love
...and if I die because of it...if someone kills me because I was too loving, too welcoming, too hospitable...then, well, there's not many better ways to go than being a martyr for being too hospitable.
I'd rather error on the side of hospitality and love then on the side of not letting Christ in the door
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NOTE: Postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis are medical conditions and need immediate medical assistance. What I describe below is often referred to as "the baby blues" and is a short term situation that occurs in almost all mothers who give birth, just as the "pastor blues" is short term and occurs in almost all priests who are given new and larger assignments
Priests can also fall into depression, particularly when getting new and overwhelming assignments. They too should seek professional help.
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I've been mulling over a thought for a while and wanted to express it here:
I don't know the ins and outs of postpartum depression, but I've certainly talked with and worked with moms who battle the post-birth blues. Often times, in the wake of giving birth to a new child, partly due to physical exhaustion, partly due to hormones, partly due to real fears, there can be a depression that sets in for a time.
Most of the fear surrounding postpartum depression comes from a belief that "There is NO way I can actually care for this child - it will be too much."
I'm not saying I know what it is like to have postpartum depression, but I do think that for priests as well, particularly young priests, this same thing may take hold for varying lengths of time.
It basically arises out of getting physically run down (or allowing this to happen) but also out of a realization that "there's no way I'll be able to handle all of this!"
I think it is one reason that we see alcoholism and other addictive behaviors among percentages of our priests - when any person feels like things are spinning out of control, addictive behaviors seem to provide an element of "control" in the sense of providing some sort of "routine" or "coping mechanism" for stress.
I say this for a couple of reasons:
1) pray for priests, moms, and dads, particularly new pastors, and new moms and dads, and see what you can do to help with the work load. There are two types of people who volunteer at parishes and who offer to help new parents:
a. "Father (or new mom), I want to help, and this is how I'm going to do it"
and
b. "Father (or new mom), I want to help, what can I do to help?"
PLEASE NOTE: a. isn't actually much help
2) As for moms, dads, and priests in this situation, we need to:
a. get the proper amount of sleep
b. admit that things are, in a sense, ALWAYS out of control
c. be okay with the unpredictable nature of things
d. realize that putting up with the insanity of shepherding hundreds of families is PART OF the sacrifice we're called to
e. get some healthy exercise 4-5 days a week, and pray 7 days a week
f. realize that we figure things out on the fly and we DO start to get better as we go forward. We never figure everything out about being a priest (just as mom's never figure it all out) but we learn how to do it well as we move forward in time
g. stop comparing ourselves to other moms, dads, or priests. We all know moms, dads, or priests that we think "have it all together". STOP comparing yourselves to them. You don't know them as well as you think, and they carry crosses, suffer, and sometimes fall into sin as well. The Devil LOVES when we look at others and try to compare ourselves based on information WE DON'T HAVE! We can be inspired by others, but it has to be healthy, and we have to realize we DON'T know what others are dealing with.
As Archbishop Tobin said: "If we see what we are doing as a mission given to us by Christ, we will never get overwhelmed". That might be one of the best things I've ever heard. We have to realize that Christ has invited us into motherhood, fatherhood, or the priesthood, and he knows we don't have it all figured out and Christ is okay with that!
A quick story from my teaching days before the seminary: As my first year of teaching went on, I think I was just constantly stressed and overwhelmed, so much so that I didn't even have time to recognize that I was stressed and overwhelmed! I was teaching 6 classes and then coaching football, and then I got a week off from football and then started coaching track. My hair fell out. I lost a lot of weight. I suffered terribly, and I constantly thought that I probably was a fraud. I was always about 90 seconds ahead of the students and I crafted my lesson plans on napkins during lunch!
Well...my second year of teaching WAS SO RADICALLY MUCH EASIER THAT I CAN'T HARDLY DESCRIBE IT! I remember being so happy on the first day of my second year that I cried! I suddenly realized that I knew a little bit about what I was doing. I remember telling a colleague, with tears of joy in my eyes, "I wish someone would have told me how much easier this second year is."
New moms, priests, dads, etc. - it gets better. Keep going forward. Be okay with the craziness. Of course you don't know what you're doing in every area but press forward and you'll figure it out in time.
To parishioners and those that support new moms, new priests, new dads, etc., pray for them regularly.
Some times, although rarely, I hear people say, particularly about new priests, "IT'S OUR JOB TO BREAK IN NEW PRIESTS". That's just absolutely dumb and wrong. It is the job of the Body of Christ to affirm and support new parents and new priests....it is the job of bullies to show people "how we do things around here"
Here's to all you new moms and dads and priests - we're all with you. Let's all hold each other in prayer and journey together through the craziness!
This is a video I kept meaning to finish up but just finally got around to it. All of us involved in the production shot footage "behind the scenes" as we went along, and I wanted to put this together.
Putting "The Third Way" together was a truly wonderful experience, and one that has a major part of my life for several years.
Thanks to my sister Emily for the vocals on this song and for Brian "B Shags" Shaughnessy for the lyrics and for producing the song.
I'm not a canon lawyer, so I just want to throw this out and see if I'm missing something
I recently had someone come to me who is totally on fire for the Catholic Faith, wants to join the Church, is devouring Catholic videos and homilies and cd's etc.
And she's been married four times. None of those marriages was in the Church. I recently got word that it looks like three different annulment cases.
You know what would fix all this? If we, as a Church, said "If you aren't married in a Catholic Church, it wasn't a marriage in the first place."
That might upset the ecumenical movement a little bit, but we already talk about some of their other 'sacraments' being invalid, and, in all honesty, most protestant aren't going to care one bit if the Catholic Church says that the Catholic Church doesn't recognize their marriages as valid.
If we said the only time you need an annulment is if you were actually married in the Catholic Church, that would free up about (I'm guessing) 75% of our marriage cases.
And let's think about it - what protestant denomination does marriage preparation like we do? If two people get married at a Baptist Church, do we really think they were taught and had, going into the marriage, the Catholic Church's understanding of what they were doing when they made their vows?
If you were married in the Catholic Church, you need an annulment.
If you weren't married in the Catholic Church, but now want to join, welcome to the Catholic Church!
Jim Harbaugh is Catholic
Jim Harbaugh was a gritty, tough, scrappy football player in college and the NFL
Jim Harbaugh started coaching
His first head coaching job: San Diego State. When he arrived they were terrible
Jim Harbaugh turned them around year 1 and went 7-4. The next two years he went 11-1 twice
Jim Harbaugh went to Stanford. Took them from mediocre to national title contenders
Jim Harbaugh went to the NFL and SanFrancisco 49ers. He turned them into a team that was two plays away from playing for two superbowls
Jim Harbaugh took over this year as the head coach of Michigan. They were terrible when he got there, and in a matter of a few months, they are one of the best teams in the country
The point here: Jim Harbaugh is the type of coach that, in sports terms, is a miracle worker. The results above are UNHEARD OF!!!
If a good coach takes over a program, it ALWAYS takes a couple of YEARS to get good and Jim Harbaugh does it in a few weeks.
It's also important to know that Jim Harbaugh is known for his intensity. The Onion had a hysterical fake newspaper story on Harbaugh the other day -
The "headline" is funny because in real life:
Jim Harbaugh is intense
Jim Harbaugh wants to win
Jim Harbaugh is a man of faith
Jim Harbaugh talks about toughness, intensity, masculinity, etc.
Here's why I mention all this - last year, when Harbaugh was coaching the 49ers, reports began to surface that players didn't like playing for Harbaugh because he was too intense, too into it, etc.
Your one job, in the NFL, is to WIN GAMES, and Jim Harbaugh does that for you, and you COMPLAIN that the guy is too intense?
Fast-forward to this year. I sat down the other night and watched 10 minutes of the 49ers and it was an absolute disgrace to the game of football. They were awful in every conceivable way, and it made it really easy to turn off. That night the 49ers, when I stopped watching, were having one of the worst games in the history of the NFL
The 49ers were a great team under Harbaugh, one of the best, but the players were complaining that Harbaugh was too masculine. And once the players got their wish, and Harbaugh was let go, the 49ers instantly became irrelevant and a joke, just like they were before he arrived.
Masculinity is mocked in a culture that thinks of gender lines as blurry (or at least wants them to be blurry). When NFL players, who are supposed to want to win, and who are supposed to be hard-nosed and tough, when they start complaining that a guy is too masculine, we should probably start to prepare for the end of the world, or at least the invasion of our country by men who DO want to fight
Authentic masculinity is something that should be praised. Intensity, hard work, discipline, etc. - these are helpful traits in our world, and we should celebrate them and hold them up when they are lived well.
I worry that cultures start to get soft and squishy and afraid of masculinity when things are plush, no one is invading, and everything is comfortable. The day may soon come where we will once again look around and hope real men will step forward. If that happens, I hope there are a few left in our country. Evidence suggests that the 49ers locker room would not be a good place to start looking.
This is class one of an online course I've been teaching to our high school students. It's been great, as we've seen a 600% increase in participation vs. when we used to ask them to come to class in person.
If you'd like more information about the text book we use, let me know.
The process is pretty simple. They watch the class. Answer a few questions. Email me the answers or hand them in at Mass. I record that they did it.
If they don't participate, that's fine - the Church says the primary catechist of a child is their parents, so I assume the parents are doing something else to teach them the Faith.
It's been great. Hope these help. I will post them here occasionally. Here's class 1
I think every priest, once or twice a year, gives a homily that they wish the world could hear...not because the priest thinks he's awesome but because he thinks it would help a lot of people. This weekend's homily falls into that category for me personally
The text:
I mentioned one
surprising thing about the priesthood a few weeks ago – how often people want
particular questions answered that the Church says are actually left up to them
using the gift of prudence to analyze the circumstances
Another shocking
thing, perhaps the saddest surprise of the priesthood thus far – I’ve done a
number of funerals at LOTS of parishes.
A lot of times it is for a big Catholic family, and in a lot of these
situations, the vast majority of the kids, if not all of them, have stopped
practicing their Catholic Faith. And here’s
what happens
At the funeral home or in
conversation with the children or listening to them at the funeral meal I hear
most of the kids say something like “Mom always sacrificed everything for us…or
Dad gave everything he had of himself and worked two jobs so we could eat…and
they laid down their lives for us…
And in these
situations a part of me wants to say something but I don’t, and what I’d like
to say to them, in a gentle way, is “do
you know why they did this for you? it’s
because of their catholic faith. because
they believed that jesus christ was/is real, that he was/is present in the
eucharist, and that he said we should
lay down our lives for our friends.”
For many of the
children in these situations, there is a complete failure to connect the dots
of the love they received from their parents, and the Faith that nurtured their
parents. I get the sense that a lot of
the kids in these situations see these heroic sacrifices from their parents,
but then they think of their parents’ Catholic Faith as some sort of
superstitious thing that mom and/or dad did on the side, but which didn’t
really lead to the beautiful results that the kids speak so highly of.
I want to say – “What
if your mom was an amazing mom BECAUSE she went to Mass EVERY Sunday and prayed
a rosary and read Scripture daily, went to confession regularly, etc.?”
Some will offer objections at this
point.
1)There
are bad Catholic parents. Correct. But perhaps the Catholic Faith kept a person
from worse.
2)There
are good parents who aren’t Catholic. Of
course. We’re talking specifically about
YOUR family. Did the Faith of your
parents help them become the saints that you are mentioning as you talk about
them?
3)Sacrificing
for one’s children is simply biological.
FALSE. I can walk out my door at
the rectory and within 30 seconds I can be at the door of people who buy
heroine for themselves instead of food for their children. I assure you, laying down your life for your
children is NOT simply biological
Let’s take it out
another level beyond the home. A lot of
times people praise their Catholic schooling.
“Those nuns gave everything to teach me.
Father worked really hard, year round, to keep the lights on at our
Catholic school.” And yet, how many
people, after receiving that Catholic education, put it to use, become highly
successful and leave the Catholic Faith behind?
I want to say to those people
Do you think those priests, those
nuns, those lay people who gave their lives to give you the best education in
theworld, do you think they did that JUST so that you would make partner at the
firm? JUST so that you would become the
CEO or a pharmacist or a well-paid engineer?
Do you think the
nuns at Annunciation slept in closets their entire adult life, without air
conditioning, giving up having a family of their own, a husband, wealth,
vacations, etc. simply to teach you ALGEBRA?
NO!
They did all of that because they were motivated by the Eucharist, by
the real presence of Christ in the Catholic Church, and if they can see what
some have done with their sacrifice, they are surely rolling over in their graves.
They didn’t do it
to teach you algebra, they did it to teach you algebra AND that Jesus is real,
that the Church is real, and that living your Catholic Faith and laying down
your life are HARD but WORTH IT!!!
The same thing
happens with regard to Blessed Mother Teresa, St. John Paul II, Pope Francis, etc. “Oh wow, they’re so awesome, look what they
did for the poor, look how they laid their lives down for others!” THE reason these people did that is because
of their Catholic Faith. Mother Teresa
did two holy hours before the Blessed Sacrament EVERY day, and went to Mass
every day, and prayed a Rosary every day.
That’s WHY she became the person who did the things you are
praising. Her Catholic Faith was not some superstitious hocus pocus
she happened to do before she went off to work each morning.
We can chalk all
this up to them being “religious” but let’s look at the larger historical
context here for a moment.
What religious
tradition gives more aid and charity than any other? The Catholic Church.
What religious
tradition married education and the Faith and invented the University system,
and, particularly in our own country, the system of educating its young people
in all things – the Catholic Church
What religious
tradition invented the hospital and continues to provide health care to the
poorest of the poor in our own country and indeed in countries throughout the
world? The Catholic Church.
This can’t all be
coincidence. The Catholic Faith must
have something to do with all of this.
Why do I mention
this? We hear in the readings today:
“Behold, I will bring them back, I will
gather them from the ends of the world,they
shall return as an immense throng.
I will lead them to brooks of water, on a level road, so that none shall
stumble.”
We know that the
numbers say ex-Catholics are the second largest denomination in the US. And yet, although the numbers don’t show it
yet because polling data is always a few years behind, I get the sense that, like in the reading this weekend, people are
starting to awaken to God’s call and are returning home to the Church.
They are
recognizing their blindness and want to see again.
God always calls
us home, every moment of every day, but it seems, anecdotally at the moment,
that people are starting to awaken. In
my lifetime, I would say it began with John Paul II showing the world that we
don’t have to be ashamed of our Faith and that it is instead quite beautiful
and is a source of strength, beauty, and light for us if we let it be that in
our hearts.
Certainly our
Holy Father Pope Francis has continued this thawing of hearts as he continues
to call us to go out, to call people home, to open the doors of our church, to
invite people in, to walk with them, etc.
What do we need
to do?
Do your children, even the ones who
have fallen away, know that the reason you sacrificed for them and raised them
the way you did was because of your Catholic Faith? Perhaps consider writing them a letter
informing them of that in your own words. Sometimes we take the approach of
nagging “Are you going to Church?” “You
need to go to Church!” “Why aren’t you
going to Church?” Maybe instead just
write and say, in your own words, “Hey, David, I know I wasn’t a
perfect parent, but I wanted to just let you know that whatever strength I did
have as a parent, it was because of my Catholic Faith and I wanted you to know
that.”
Do the people we help, the people we teach, the poor we reach
out to, the people that visit our hospitals, do they know WHY we are helping
them? We often choose to NOT talk about
ourselves and our good works, as individuals, as parishes, and as a
Church. “Do not let your left hand know
what your right is doing” but we do a
disservice if we help someone but don’t say anything about why we’re doing it. This weekend I bring Communion to our
sick and shutins. I’ve realized that I
don’t ever really share with them why I’m there. I’m not saying I’m going to start walking in
and shouting “I’M HERE BECAUSE OF JESUS AND I’M AWESOME!” but there might be an
opportunity to work in my motivation for being there as we have a
conversation.
“Behold, I will bring them back, I will
gather them from the ends of the world,they
shall return as an immense throng.
I will lead them to brooks of water, on a level road, so that none shall
stumble.”
Give us the strength to help get the word out that God is
calling the world home to the Catholic Church
This has been around for a while, but I thought we'd take a look at it.
It is wrong on so many levels. I'm not even going to get into anything in the chart because the question at the top is wrong on so many levels, the rest of the graphic doesn't even merit our time
Here's the graphic:
If someone shows you this and asks you want to think of it as a Catholic you can say the following:
1) No, I don't think homosexuality is sinful, if by homosexuality you mean a person that is attracted to people of the same sex.
2) Even if you mean by "homosexuality" you mean people having same sex sex, which I do think is sinful, the sinfulness of same sex sex is NOT WHY I'M OPPOSED TO GAY MARRIAGE. I'm opposed to gay marriage simply on secular grounds - I believe that marriage between a man and a woman is a first principle that any society has to be founded on. I believe that children have a right to a mother and a father. Lots of atheists are against same sex marriage - so no, my opposition to gay marriage is NOT based on my Christianity, but thanks for asking.
Rarely can one statement get as much wrong as the statement used at the beginning of this chart.
Below you will find a guest post from my sister Laura. When she let all of us siblings know about her struggles several years ago, at some point later I approached her and said if she'd ever like to share her story in this space, I'd be honored to post it. This is a story that I think can help a lot of people:
"The intent of this post is to inform parents, siblings, and friends that those near you may struggle with an eating disorder. Eating disorders take many different forms, but I hope that by sharing my own experience with them, you might have a clearer understanding of them and how your daughter, sister, brother, or friend might be struggling. This post is also for anyone who may be dealing with an eating disorder. As I will mention later on, I truthfully didn't realize I had one until three years after I had first started. May this post help you in your journey to healing.
In October of my junior year of high school, almost all of my friends began drinking and disagreeing with Catholic Church teachings. I didn't know how to go about discussing things with them, so I just stopped being friends with them. I went straight from having lots of friends and people to talk to to being the silent one at the end of a hostile lunch table. In January of my junior year, for cheerleading we began discussing the pairs for a Valentine's Day dance where each cheerleader dances with a senior guy. I was paired with a popular football player and started to worry. We would be doing a bunch of crazy flips, and I didn't want to be that girl that couldn't be lifted. I came home from one practice at the end of January, 2011, and decided I would eat less at dinner. The next morning, I had an apple for breakfast and packed a lunch of half a handful of grain flake cereal and a carrot. I kept it up for a week and lost five pounds. The dance went fine and everyone told me how great I looked. That weekend, I was at home looking at some cookies my mom had just made and thought how sad it would be to have everyone see me gain back my five pounds I had lost. I consciously decided in that moment that I didn't have to gain it back, and began struggling with eating disorders.
The compliments were endless. Girls came out of nowhere to tell me how gorgeous, tiny, cute, etc. I looked and it was intoxicating. I had gone months without friends, so this attention was addicting and only encouraged me. Lunch was always a struggle, however. I would either take my lunch into the library and eat my ~70 calorie snack there, or I'd stay in the bathroom for the first ten minutes of lunch then come down and hurriedly eat and go to the bathroom again. When I got home from school I would walk 40 minutes on the treadmill. I lost 15 pounds that school year, and weighed less than my seventh grade sister, which I viewed as success. I went to Eurpope for two weeks with my brother that summer, and came home weighing ten pounds lighter than when I left. It never occurred to me that I had an eating disorder. In fact, I went on a retreat my senior year and heard other people talk about their eating disorders and thought "man, that would terrible!" It wasn't until three years later that I took an online quiz to see if one might be at risk for an eating disorder that I realized I was in its throws. In fact, I struggled with multiple eating disorders. My freshman year of college, I decided I didn't want to eat so little, but I couldn't bear the thought of returning to my original weight. I would eat myself stuffed, walk on the treadmill for ten miles at a time, then come back in and eat more. Although I never made myself get sick to get rid of the food, it was bulimia, a constant battle with myself over wanting to be skinny and wanting to never again feel that hunger and exhaustion I had experienced in high school. The fall of my sophomore year, I got a stress fracture in my femur from training for a marathon. That threw me into my third eating disorder, where I would simply binge on food and was unable to do the physical activity required to burn it off. Yet again, I was entirely unaware of what I was struggling with, but I knew it wasn't right to feel that way. Eventually my leg healed, and I was able to get my eating under control. My brother had asked all of my siblings to start a monthly sibling update email, so in April 2014, I decided to tell all my siblings. It was extremely difficult and I hated feeling that vulnerable. Everyone I cared about now knew my darkest struggles, and that was absolutely horrifying. However, Archangel Raphael is the patron saint of mental disorders and happy meetings, so with the help of his intercession, God took care of me. My siblings simply showered me with love and understanding, and it was the best decision I've ever made, telling them. I now have them on guard for me, and they notice if I start to eat too little or obsess over working out. After years of prayer, work, and many failures, I am now at a healthy weight, eat right, and lead a wonderful life!
Thus far, I hope my story has informed parents, siblings, and friends of at-risk people what eating disorders can look like. I don't have all the answers for what to do, I don't even know what all my family did to get me out of those dark places. The only thing I can say with confidence is PRAY CONSTANTLY FOR THEM. My parents never made me eat a steak or stop my workouts, which was incredibly wise of them in hindsight. However, your daughter or son may need more drastic measures than I did. Also, I didn't even know I was suffering from anorexia and bulimia for three years, so trust your instincts over your sibling or friend's emphatic "I'm fine!"s. Made In His Image, a support website for those with eating disorders, has lots of resources that can direct you. But please always pray for those who struggle. Thank you!
Now, for anyone reading this article that might be struggling with an eating disorder: you deserve to be free of this, and you CAN be! Firstly, take your pain to Jesus in Adoration; He has been waiting 2000 years to listen to your struggles and help you through them. Praying the Rosary daily has helped me tremendously, and Mary promises that any of her children who dedicate themselves to her in the Rosary will "receive her protection". In Mary we find ceaseless consolation; please look to her.
Eating disorders are not something easily shaken, so don't hate yourself if you slip up. I have slipped up countless times, but each time I remember a line from the movie Robin Hood:
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Each time you fall down, God is waiting with an outstretched hand to pull you back up. Grit your teeth, grab your rosary, and stand again. Also, you can use your suffering for good! Saint John Paul II loved to reflect on the beauty of suffering, writing an entire encyclical on it. He states
"Come! Take part through your suffering in this work of saving the world, a salvation achieved through [Jesus'] suffering! Through [Jesus'] cross."
Without a doubt, eating disorders are heavy crosses. However, we neither suffer alone nor for nothing. On a hard day, say a prayer to God, offering your pain for an intention such as those affected by abuse. Our beloved Father can take our suffering and use it to relieve that of others if we only ask Him to. Knowing we have the power to help others through our own challenges is such a beautiful thing and gives our suffering dignity. Lastly, realize that you deserve to be free of this and ask for help. It will be horrifying, but offer that fear up for your intention and bite the bullet. There are trained professionals that live to help you! You can do it; you're so worth it. God has a beautiful plan for you, and loves you more than can be comprehended. Know of my prayers for you, and may God always hold you in His loving arms!
