A second sit down interview podcast with my good friend Fr. Jonathan Meyer
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Monday, February 25, 2019
Good News!
From the good news department:
Monsignor Larry Moran is a former spiritual director of mine who is living in a nursing care facility out by my parishes.
Monsignor has also been an absolute warrior for the pro-life cause. He is 92 and fighting cancer.
He also just sponsored 2 right to life billboards in our area!
He is a true hero and a great man of God. Keep him in your prayers!
Monsignor Larry Moran is a former spiritual director of mine who is living in a nursing care facility out by my parishes.
Monsignor has also been an absolute warrior for the pro-life cause. He is 92 and fighting cancer.
He also just sponsored 2 right to life billboards in our area!
He is a true hero and a great man of God. Keep him in your prayers!
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Traditions of Man
"You disregard God's commandment but cling to human tradition." He went on to say, "How well you
have set aside the commandment of God in order to uphold your tradition!”
(Mark 7: 8-9)
"Traditions of man" that are not in the Bible:
1) The only thing you
need is the Bible
2) Intimacy between spouses trumps all other marital moral
considerations
3) Being happy and remarried without having previous
marriages to living spouses declared null by the Church trumps Christ’s
teaching on divorce
4) Population fears trump God’s command to be fruitful and
multiply
5) I don’t need to talk to others about Jesus even though
Christ says, right before leaving, that we are to baptize all nations
6) Surely pretty much everyone is saved even though Jesus says
the road is wide that leads to destruction and those who enter through it are
MANY
7) The highest virtue is getting along even though Jesus says He came to bring not peace but a sword of division
8) Jesus just wanted us to eat bread and drink grape juice
together
Wednesday, February 13, 2019
Prayers please! Statement of my Archdiocese concerning a brother priest
Statement on suspension of Fr. David J. Marcotte
Fr.
David J. Marcotte, a priest for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis, was suspended from
ministry on February 12, 2019 after a report of sexual abuse involving a minor
in 2016 was received by the archdiocese’s victim assistance coordinator on
February 6, 2019. The Archdiocese immediately made a report to civil
authorities and notified the chair of the Archdiocesan Review Board of the
allegation.
The
Archdiocese is cooperating with law enforcement.
Fr. Marcotte was ordained on June 7, 2014. The complete list
of his ministry assignments are as follows: 2014, associate pastor, SS. Francis
and Clare Parish, Greenwood, and Catholic chaplain, University of Indianapolis;
2015, associate pastor, St. Malachy Parish, Brownsburg; 2016, administrator,
St. Martin of Tours Parish, Martinsville; 2017, chaplain, Roncalli High School,
Indianapolis, Catholic chaplain, University of Indianapolis, and sacramental
assistance, SS. Francis and Clare Parish, Greenwood.
Fr.
Marcotte is prohibited from all public ministry while an investigation is ongoing.
The
Archdiocese of Indianapolis is committed to protecting children and vulnerable
adults from sexual abuse and misconduct. If you are a victim of sexual abuse or
misconduct by a person ministering on behalf of the Church, or if you know of
anyone who has been a victim, please contact civil authorities and the
Archdiocesan Victim Assistance Coordinator Carla Hill at 317-236-1548 or
800-382-9836, ext. 1548 or email her at carlahill@archindy.org.
Confidential
reports can also be made on-line at www.archdioceseofindianapolis.ethicspoint.com
or
by calling 888-393-6810
Let
us hold all victims of sexual abuse and misconduct and their families in
prayer.
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
I don't LIKE incense
Some parishioners (whom I love) were recently telling me that I just have incense at Mass and chant and "ad orientem worship" and nice vestments because I like them.
This is SUPER CRUCIAL...
I do not LIKE incense (outside of Mass). I have never used incense outside of Mass. Ever! If I LIKED incense, wouldn't I use incense on my own?
I don't LIKE chant (outside of Mass). I do not hardly ever listen to chant outside of Mass. I listen to way more classic rock and way more blues and folk music than I do chant. If I just happened to LIKE chant, wouldn't I listen to it all the time outside of Mass?
I do not LIKE nice vestments/clothing (outside of Mass). If I LIKED that stuff, I'd wear nice clothes outside of Mass.
And this is where I think a generation or two has REALLY failed the Church - the only way they can think is in terms of "what do I personally like?" They think this way themselves, and when they see a priest celebrating Mass a particular way, they assume that if he's doing Mass a certain way it is because he's adding in the things he just happens to LIKE.
STOP THINKING THAT WAY PEOPLE!
We have to start thinking non-selfishly and non-narcissistically again. The ONLY proper question is "WHAT WORKS IN THE MASS FOR THE SALVATION OF SOULS?"...what attracts people?...and do those things...even if you don't happen to like it!!!!!
When the guys (that I really like) were complaining to me, I told them "Fellas, I love you, but when I came here there were 3 masses a weekend with 30 people at each one. That means 90 people coming to Mass a weekend. We gradually started doing Mass differently, and we now have 300 people coming. Gentlemen, you and I are going to come to Mass in the middle of a cornfield without music, without vestments, etc...BUT YOU HAVE TO ASK: "WHAT WILL ATTRACT THE PERSON WHO IS CURRENTLY NOT HERE?"
The Church, in her 2,000 years of wisdom, KNOWS what works in terms of a celebration of the Mass that draws people in. She has told us over and over and over again.
But as with so many other things, we've started breaking from that body of wisdom simply for the fact that it isn't what we personally like.
This is SUPER CRUCIAL...
I do not LIKE incense (outside of Mass). I have never used incense outside of Mass. Ever! If I LIKED incense, wouldn't I use incense on my own?
I don't LIKE chant (outside of Mass). I do not hardly ever listen to chant outside of Mass. I listen to way more classic rock and way more blues and folk music than I do chant. If I just happened to LIKE chant, wouldn't I listen to it all the time outside of Mass?
I do not LIKE nice vestments/clothing (outside of Mass). If I LIKED that stuff, I'd wear nice clothes outside of Mass.
And this is where I think a generation or two has REALLY failed the Church - the only way they can think is in terms of "what do I personally like?" They think this way themselves, and when they see a priest celebrating Mass a particular way, they assume that if he's doing Mass a certain way it is because he's adding in the things he just happens to LIKE.
STOP THINKING THAT WAY PEOPLE!
We have to start thinking non-selfishly and non-narcissistically again. The ONLY proper question is "WHAT WORKS IN THE MASS FOR THE SALVATION OF SOULS?"...what attracts people?...and do those things...even if you don't happen to like it!!!!!
When the guys (that I really like) were complaining to me, I told them "Fellas, I love you, but when I came here there were 3 masses a weekend with 30 people at each one. That means 90 people coming to Mass a weekend. We gradually started doing Mass differently, and we now have 300 people coming. Gentlemen, you and I are going to come to Mass in the middle of a cornfield without music, without vestments, etc...BUT YOU HAVE TO ASK: "WHAT WILL ATTRACT THE PERSON WHO IS CURRENTLY NOT HERE?"
The Church, in her 2,000 years of wisdom, KNOWS what works in terms of a celebration of the Mass that draws people in. She has told us over and over and over again.
But as with so many other things, we've started breaking from that body of wisdom simply for the fact that it isn't what we personally like.
Does God Will a Plurality of Religions?
I think Dr. Taylor Marshall and Timothy Gordon do a great job of unpacking the statement from the Holy Father that many find very troubling
Sunday, February 10, 2019
Tuesday, February 5, 2019
Why You Need to be Reading Sigrid Undset
Three years ago, I was doing a blog post on Catholic fiction, and I did an internet search for "Top Catholic Novels" just to see where my recommendations ranked on other people's lists, and also to see if I had forgotten any Catholic novels that I had read.
To my surprise, at the top of several lists was an author I had NEVER even heard of...Sigrid Undset. Number one on many people's "Top Catholic Novels" was Undset's novel "Kristin Lavransdatter".
I went out and purchased Undset's two most recommended novels - "Kristin Lavransdatter" and "The Master of Hestviken".
Reading these two works over the past two years, I now see why she is so cherished by so many!
Undset was born in 1882 and spent most of her life in Norway. Both of her parents were staunch atheists, but, as a young divorced mother of three, she converted to Catholicism and was brought into the Church in 1924.
In 1928 she received the Nobel Prize for Literature, primarily for her novels "Kristin Lavransdatter" and "The Master of Hestviken". Both are set in Norway during the Middle Ages when the country was Catholic but still figuring out what that meant. Both novels have had broad appeal over the last 100 years. Both novels are thought to have inspired Tolkien, as Undset's novels convey beautiful and mystical descriptions of the places the characters inhabit (the farms, rivers, woods, barns, homes, mountains, the various seasons of the year, etc.).
After converting to Catholicism, Undset was happy to defend the Catholic Church every time the opportunity arose, and the opportunities arose often because Norway in Undset's time (as now) has an incredibly small Catholic population.
In addition to the novels, I would like to here share some excerpts from her work "Stages on the Road" particularly a cordial letter that she wrote to her parish priest after he had asked her for her thoughts on marriage.
Her letter is AMAZING, and it is just as relevant today.
Here are some notable quotes:
"The nations have lived on the aftereffects of this medieval conviction of the self-evident character of Christian truth, long after the roots of the faith have been severed, one by one. Ideas, whose only origin is one or other of the Catholic dogmas, were still regarded as obviously true, long after the dogma on which they rested has been forgotten or contested or rejected - because the acceptance of the Catholic doctrine in the past had left such deep traces in tradition and habits of thought that ordinary people assumed it to be "natural" to think thus."
"One of these traditions, which is based wholly and solely on a Catholic dogma, is lifelong, monogamous marriage."
"We were faced with the historical fact that all the founders of Protestant sects had agreed in throwing this dogma overboard. They had all accepted the view that in certain circumstances marriage may be dissolved and that divorced persons may marry again, even during the lifetime of their former partner...until the point was reached in our young days when all the various grounds of divorce were comprised in a single, fundamental pretext: it is sufficient ground for divorce if one of the parties desires it."
"As everyone knows, economic conditions are such that the natural family has little material encouragement to keep together...in many cases nothing less than heroism is required if a husband and wife really desire to live together as a good Christian couple. It calls for a self-discipline, a habit of self-conquest, which normally is not acquired without much prayer and a diligent use of the Sacraments, it two modern people are to continue fond of each other...very few people would be able to endure each other if they were not bound together to serve some ideal which is so great as to make them both seem equally insignificant when measured against it...Nothing but this belief can just the Catholic idea of marriage. No other belief can give the people of our day courage to live according to nature and accept the children that God gives them, except this - the belief that every child has a soul which is worth more than the whole visible, created world."
"But one must limit the number of children according to one's means: no more than one can give a good start in life to!" So they shake their heads at the Catholic mother - "Good gracious, another? Well some people have no sense of responsibility!" And the Catholic mother knows that every child she has is worth more than all the stars in the heavens, though at times she is near fainting under the shower of stars. It keeps her tied within the walls of her home - and it may seem tempting when she sees other mothers who have their well-paid work outside the home and can afford competent help, so that their houses and children look better cared for than her own. While the father is prematurely worn and middle-aged in his struggle to provide the greedy little stars with their bread and margarine."
"Christ has promised His Church that the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it. We believe that the Church of Christ will subsist on earth as long as human life stirs on this globe. But it is nowhere promised us that our continent and the nations with which we are related shall continue to belong to the Church of Christ through all the ages. The Church militant on earth may be reduced to a handful of adherents, not many more than would fill an arena or a local jail. The Christians of Europe may be reduced to a little band with no power to influence social development"
"Protestants sects...in the question of marriage and family life, have capitulated to the pagan views. In this matter, as in so many others, they have "moved with the times"; that is, they have caught hold of the tail of the garment of "evolution" and held on to it, allowing themselves to be pulled along, while imagining they held the reins."
In conclusion, I think Sigrid Undset would be deeply saddened to realize that many of the same things can now be said of Catholics.
To my surprise, at the top of several lists was an author I had NEVER even heard of...Sigrid Undset. Number one on many people's "Top Catholic Novels" was Undset's novel "Kristin Lavransdatter".
I went out and purchased Undset's two most recommended novels - "Kristin Lavransdatter" and "The Master of Hestviken".
Reading these two works over the past two years, I now see why she is so cherished by so many!
Undset was born in 1882 and spent most of her life in Norway. Both of her parents were staunch atheists, but, as a young divorced mother of three, she converted to Catholicism and was brought into the Church in 1924.
In 1928 she received the Nobel Prize for Literature, primarily for her novels "Kristin Lavransdatter" and "The Master of Hestviken". Both are set in Norway during the Middle Ages when the country was Catholic but still figuring out what that meant. Both novels have had broad appeal over the last 100 years. Both novels are thought to have inspired Tolkien, as Undset's novels convey beautiful and mystical descriptions of the places the characters inhabit (the farms, rivers, woods, barns, homes, mountains, the various seasons of the year, etc.).
After converting to Catholicism, Undset was happy to defend the Catholic Church every time the opportunity arose, and the opportunities arose often because Norway in Undset's time (as now) has an incredibly small Catholic population.
In addition to the novels, I would like to here share some excerpts from her work "Stages on the Road" particularly a cordial letter that she wrote to her parish priest after he had asked her for her thoughts on marriage.
Her letter is AMAZING, and it is just as relevant today.
Here are some notable quotes:
"The nations have lived on the aftereffects of this medieval conviction of the self-evident character of Christian truth, long after the roots of the faith have been severed, one by one. Ideas, whose only origin is one or other of the Catholic dogmas, were still regarded as obviously true, long after the dogma on which they rested has been forgotten or contested or rejected - because the acceptance of the Catholic doctrine in the past had left such deep traces in tradition and habits of thought that ordinary people assumed it to be "natural" to think thus."
"One of these traditions, which is based wholly and solely on a Catholic dogma, is lifelong, monogamous marriage."
"We were faced with the historical fact that all the founders of Protestant sects had agreed in throwing this dogma overboard. They had all accepted the view that in certain circumstances marriage may be dissolved and that divorced persons may marry again, even during the lifetime of their former partner...until the point was reached in our young days when all the various grounds of divorce were comprised in a single, fundamental pretext: it is sufficient ground for divorce if one of the parties desires it."
"As everyone knows, economic conditions are such that the natural family has little material encouragement to keep together...in many cases nothing less than heroism is required if a husband and wife really desire to live together as a good Christian couple. It calls for a self-discipline, a habit of self-conquest, which normally is not acquired without much prayer and a diligent use of the Sacraments, it two modern people are to continue fond of each other...very few people would be able to endure each other if they were not bound together to serve some ideal which is so great as to make them both seem equally insignificant when measured against it...Nothing but this belief can just the Catholic idea of marriage. No other belief can give the people of our day courage to live according to nature and accept the children that God gives them, except this - the belief that every child has a soul which is worth more than the whole visible, created world."
"But one must limit the number of children according to one's means: no more than one can give a good start in life to!" So they shake their heads at the Catholic mother - "Good gracious, another? Well some people have no sense of responsibility!" And the Catholic mother knows that every child she has is worth more than all the stars in the heavens, though at times she is near fainting under the shower of stars. It keeps her tied within the walls of her home - and it may seem tempting when she sees other mothers who have their well-paid work outside the home and can afford competent help, so that their houses and children look better cared for than her own. While the father is prematurely worn and middle-aged in his struggle to provide the greedy little stars with their bread and margarine."
"Christ has promised His Church that the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it. We believe that the Church of Christ will subsist on earth as long as human life stirs on this globe. But it is nowhere promised us that our continent and the nations with which we are related shall continue to belong to the Church of Christ through all the ages. The Church militant on earth may be reduced to a handful of adherents, not many more than would fill an arena or a local jail. The Christians of Europe may be reduced to a little band with no power to influence social development"
"Protestants sects...in the question of marriage and family life, have capitulated to the pagan views. In this matter, as in so many others, they have "moved with the times"; that is, they have caught hold of the tail of the garment of "evolution" and held on to it, allowing themselves to be pulled along, while imagining they held the reins."
In conclusion, I think Sigrid Undset would be deeply saddened to realize that many of the same things can now be said of Catholics.
Time to Raise the Bar on What the Church Recognizes as "Marriage"?
I minister in the poorest town in Indiana. We have a wonderful woman who is in RCIA to join the Church.
She's been married 5 times.
The Amoris Laetitia debate taking place about whether the divorced and remarried without an annulment while the first spouse is still living...this debate seems MUCH less important than what I'd like to discuss below.
First of all, I'm not a canon lawyer, but (I think I'm right in saying this) there are essentially 2 levels to marriage. First of all, a marriage even of the unbaptized can be VALID because we currently consider the consent of the couple to be what typically makes it valid.
LEVEL 2: In addition to a marriage being valid, it can ALSO be sacramental if it is between 2 baptized persons
The discussion we need to be having, in my mind, is "has the state of marriage OUTSIDE the Church changed so drastically as to warrant us reexamining what makes a marriage valid? Also, has the state of marriage changed so drastically OUTSIDE the Church as to warrant us examining what makes a marriage sacramental?"
Currently,
1) you don't even have to be baptized to have a valid marriage. Two people, not baptized, who get married at the courthouse - we presume that is a valid marriage (not sacramental, but valid, thus needing to go through the annulment process if they have remarried and wish to join the Church)
2) We automatically say that two baptized people who exchange consent are presumed to be sacramentally married.
Said negatively - the only marriage we know, ON THE SURFACE, is not even a valid marriage is when a Catholic gets married OUTSIDE the Church without the Church's permission. ALL OTHER MARRIAGES ARE PRESUMED VALID, AND NEED TO AT LEAST BEGIN THE ANNULMENT JOURNEY
But, in my mind, the entire landscape has changed, punctuated by our nation's embrace of same-sex marriage.
Here's what I'd like to throw out there: I am proposing, for arguments sake, that we say for a marriage to be valid, you need to either be married
1) In the Catholic Church or
2) In a Church that is on our approved list of churches that we believe do adequate marriage preparation/formation etc. AND have the SAME understanding of what marriage is that we as Catholics do. Perhaps, like we did with baptism, we get together with other Christian denominations and issue some kind of joint statement on what we all believe about marriage, and the groups that don't sign on - getting married in their Church is not sacramental nor valid.
3) You receive proper permission from your bishop to marry a non-baptized person or some Christian that isn't on the list of approved Christian denominations.
Here's why I say this:
1) Our secular society literally has enshrined and recognizes marriage to be something that people of the same sex can enter into
2) Some denominations are literally preaching that two people of the same sex can "marry" each other.
We have, as a Catholic Church, done something similar with baptism. We don't recognize other Christian denominations' baptisms, unless they meet criteria that we have laid out and are on our "approved list of Christian denominations that properly confer baptism"
As an example, we accept Lutheran baptisms, but not Mormon baptisms
I'm just wondering whether we set some new standards about what we accept as marriage, given the shifting landscape outside the Church.
I have had people tell me they don't remember their marriage very much because they were both high when they walked into the courthouse to get married. Is that marriage? Now some will say "this stuff will get uncovered during an investigation for an annulment, and perhaps it would be declared null" but I'm saying it seems ridiculous at this point to think of these marriages as marriages - it seems off, in my mind, to even presume that these things are valid marriages
People might also just say, "you just don't want to work with your parishioner to get 5 annulment processes going" but I would say that situations like these are becoming more normal. This situation that I describe is, sadly, not nearly the exception anymore.
I have a town FULL of poor people who have been married multiple times and who would be interested in the Church but even being gently led through the marriage regularization process of the Church just seems to crush so many of them.
In the Amoris debate, again, everyone is upset and arguing about Catholics who have remarried without an annulment. I think the far more important question that can be tackled is
"Does the absolute implosion of what marriage has come to be in Western civilization warrant a redrawing of the lines for the Church's laws on marriage (not on who can receive Communion but on which and what types of marriages we recognize)"
She's been married 5 times.
The Amoris Laetitia debate taking place about whether the divorced and remarried without an annulment while the first spouse is still living...this debate seems MUCH less important than what I'd like to discuss below.
First of all, I'm not a canon lawyer, but (I think I'm right in saying this) there are essentially 2 levels to marriage. First of all, a marriage even of the unbaptized can be VALID because we currently consider the consent of the couple to be what typically makes it valid.
LEVEL 2: In addition to a marriage being valid, it can ALSO be sacramental if it is between 2 baptized persons
The discussion we need to be having, in my mind, is "has the state of marriage OUTSIDE the Church changed so drastically as to warrant us reexamining what makes a marriage valid? Also, has the state of marriage changed so drastically OUTSIDE the Church as to warrant us examining what makes a marriage sacramental?"
Currently,
1) you don't even have to be baptized to have a valid marriage. Two people, not baptized, who get married at the courthouse - we presume that is a valid marriage (not sacramental, but valid, thus needing to go through the annulment process if they have remarried and wish to join the Church)
2) We automatically say that two baptized people who exchange consent are presumed to be sacramentally married.
Said negatively - the only marriage we know, ON THE SURFACE, is not even a valid marriage is when a Catholic gets married OUTSIDE the Church without the Church's permission. ALL OTHER MARRIAGES ARE PRESUMED VALID, AND NEED TO AT LEAST BEGIN THE ANNULMENT JOURNEY
But, in my mind, the entire landscape has changed, punctuated by our nation's embrace of same-sex marriage.
Here's what I'd like to throw out there: I am proposing, for arguments sake, that we say for a marriage to be valid, you need to either be married
1) In the Catholic Church or
2) In a Church that is on our approved list of churches that we believe do adequate marriage preparation/formation etc. AND have the SAME understanding of what marriage is that we as Catholics do. Perhaps, like we did with baptism, we get together with other Christian denominations and issue some kind of joint statement on what we all believe about marriage, and the groups that don't sign on - getting married in their Church is not sacramental nor valid.
3) You receive proper permission from your bishop to marry a non-baptized person or some Christian that isn't on the list of approved Christian denominations.
Here's why I say this:
1) Our secular society literally has enshrined and recognizes marriage to be something that people of the same sex can enter into
2) Some denominations are literally preaching that two people of the same sex can "marry" each other.
We have, as a Catholic Church, done something similar with baptism. We don't recognize other Christian denominations' baptisms, unless they meet criteria that we have laid out and are on our "approved list of Christian denominations that properly confer baptism"
As an example, we accept Lutheran baptisms, but not Mormon baptisms
I'm just wondering whether we set some new standards about what we accept as marriage, given the shifting landscape outside the Church.
I have had people tell me they don't remember their marriage very much because they were both high when they walked into the courthouse to get married. Is that marriage? Now some will say "this stuff will get uncovered during an investigation for an annulment, and perhaps it would be declared null" but I'm saying it seems ridiculous at this point to think of these marriages as marriages - it seems off, in my mind, to even presume that these things are valid marriages
People might also just say, "you just don't want to work with your parishioner to get 5 annulment processes going" but I would say that situations like these are becoming more normal. This situation that I describe is, sadly, not nearly the exception anymore.
I have a town FULL of poor people who have been married multiple times and who would be interested in the Church but even being gently led through the marriage regularization process of the Church just seems to crush so many of them.
In the Amoris debate, again, everyone is upset and arguing about Catholics who have remarried without an annulment. I think the far more important question that can be tackled is
"Does the absolute implosion of what marriage has come to be in Western civilization warrant a redrawing of the lines for the Church's laws on marriage (not on who can receive Communion but on which and what types of marriages we recognize)"
Sunday, February 3, 2019
How You Can Help a Priest
I’m right
there with you waiting and wondering if something will ever be done about
episcopal abuse of children, and if any real punishments will be levied against criminal bishops.
It can be tempting to live in the black and white "I'm not doing anything until this gets fixed and addressed", but I'd like to suggest some things that involve work, are not totally black and white, and yet could also make a huge difference in helping our priests live more ordered and Christian lives, and thus these are things that could also help prevent future abuse and harm being done by our priests. This is a compilation of some practical things you can do for the priests
you know that might really help them avoid the situations that frequently contribute to priests finding themselves in the midst of scandal
1) One of the
top indicators that a priest is close to either falling away or doing something
completely devastating is that the priest has stopped praying, has stopped
seeing a spiritual director, and has not taken his yearly retreat. So, ask your pastor “Father, how’s your
prayer life?”. Also ask the priests you
know, on a regular basis, “How is spiritual direction going for you?” and also
ask the priests “How was your retreat?”
If there
response to any of these is “I haven’t done it in a while” ask them “What can I
and the parish do to help you get to spiritual direction? What can we do to help you go on
retreat? Can we help track down coverage
for you so you can take a week to go on retreat? Does the parish need to hire someone to help
lighten your load so that you can go to spiritual direction monthly and pray a
holy hour each day?"
2) The 2nd
Vatican Council said in one of its documents that priests ought to live in
community as much as possible. I believe
if this were happening, the abuse numbers would have been way lower. There is so much accountability that comes
with living in community. When guys are
living in community, it is harder to be a drunk, it is harder to be addicted to
porn, it is harder to get addicted to television or video games, and if a
priest is out having an “affair” of any kind, you can bet that those living
with him will almost assuredly figure it out quickly.
So are we
ready to encourage OUR pastor to STOP living at OUR parish so that he can live
in community with brother priests at a nearby parish? Consider asking the priests you know “What
could we do to help you live in community with brother priests?”
3) A sabbath day
of rest is super important for any human being, particularly when you are
plugged in, getting stretched in a lot of directions with emails, public
appearances, talks, Mass, confessions, funerals, etc. When is your priest’s day off? Ask him if he’s
taking it. Also, encourage other
parishioners to not bother him on his day off.
I will say here that most of the people in my parishes know when my day
off is, and yet some ask me to do things on my day off. With regard to future events, encourage a
spirit of not asking things of your pastor on his day off. And just to be clear, I don’t mean so much “don’t
call Father on Friday” but rather “Don’t ask father to come to something on a
Friday a month from now.” He can always say no, but don't put him in the position of having to say "no" in the first place! For most human
beings, one thing on the schedule on a day off is not a day off.
4) Here’s
something particularly important for the men of a parish, but it can apply to
men and women. Friendship with the
priest. Usually in the mind of
parishioners it seems like there are two options:
1) Father likes me and is my really good friend or
2) Father does not know me and/or is not my really good friend.
1) Father likes me and is my really good friend or
2) Father does not know me and/or is not my really good friend.
Here’s the
deal, a priest's GOOD friends should NEVER be parishioners. There is a power dynamic that is present
there that keeps it from EVER being healthy.
So…ask your priest “Are you taking time to be with good priest friends, good lay friends outside the parish, and your family?”
5) At the same
time, the men can and SHOULD invite Father into fraternal activities and events
and comradery. “Father, the Knights are getting together at Bill’s and playing
cards and having a beer, want to come?”
Know and be
okay with the fact that your pastor should be at lots of social events, but
that at the same time, none of those should be major sources of deep and close
friendships but rather fraternal in nature.
Fight the temptation to say "Well, I tried to be Father's friend, but he didn't respond, so now I don't really approach him."
6) Invite the
priests you know to come participate in manual labor with the men of the
parish. If he isn’t good at manual labor
or is soft and effeminate, don’t dismiss him for that reason, but think about
ways that you and some of the men of the parish might help him get more
comfortable with doing some good hard manual labor.
The same
goes for sports. Invite Father to come
play basketball or workout. If he doesn’t
know how to work out, get him a personal trainer who can coach him (a great
parish Christmas gift). "Father, a group of us work out in the mornings at the Y. Would you like to join us?"
If he doesn’t know
how to run or jog, find someone who can help coach him in that. Surround him with a group of people from the
parish who like to walk or bike and are training for some upcoming event, and
bring him into the fold. Exercise of some kind is absolutely essential to living out a healthy priesthood in our day where so much physical work has disappeared.
7) If your
parish has a poverty outreach ministry, invite the priest to go on a home visit
or work a shift at the food pantry. As Pope Francis has called us to the margins, I have found that working with the poor in a direct way (not just guiding poverty outreach from my office) has helped me a great deal in confronting my own sinfulness. As one person once said "the answer to our culture's pornography addiction is working in a soup kitchen". I don't personally battle pornography, but lust in general, pride, greed, selfishness...it is all routed out by getting into contact and relationship with those in poverty. Help get your priest out of his office!
I’ve asked my parishioners at both parishes to call me if they need someone to go on a St. Vincent DePaul home visit, and I’ve not had anyone invite me along in 6 years. Help Father get involved in ministry to the poor and going to the margins, and help him do it with others and not just something he does alone.
I’ve asked my parishioners at both parishes to call me if they need someone to go on a St. Vincent DePaul home visit, and I’ve not had anyone invite me along in 6 years. Help Father get involved in ministry to the poor and going to the margins, and help him do it with others and not just something he does alone.
These are just some of the main ideas that come to mind in helping our current priests and pastors live out their priesthood in a healthy way. Let me know if there are other questions. Do you have your own ideas for things to do? Leave a comment. Let us pray for our priests